Are you okay?

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

Usually we hate questions which we don’t have any answers for. The one question I hate people asking me is if I am okay

No. Maybe yes, maybe no, yes, I don’t know, when was I? If I ever will be? A lot of it follows up when I am simply asked this one question.

The problem is I don’t know what okay feels like anymore. Lately, I have felt roller coasters of emotions from having a gut wrenching sickening feeling of fear to absolutely as blank as nothing. No sorrow, no pain, no guilt. Just a pool of nothing. Blankness as it maybe elaborated.

“Okay” ahhh!!! I wish I could just feel okay for a second. I have almost forgot the feeling of it. What was it like? Was it like getting up at 12pm just to realise it’s a Sunday afternoon and just scrolling through reels without any purpose or happiness or was it like eating acchar monotonously on a regular Tuesday lunch? Or maybe watching their story for fifth time with their “new partner” and absolutely feel nothing cause it is clearly the past.

I hate being asked “are you okay”, but somewhere in between I really hope and wish the question becomes “are you okay?”

This time, a genuine, loving, affectionate and a considerate “are you okay?”

A “are you okay” when I am all dressed up to leave but my eyes says otherwise, when I am speaking loudly(unnecessarily), when I am eating “too quickly”, when I am constantly looking for something but never admitting, when all I look is drained and mostly when… when I suddenly start to become difficult. Not bad or worse just “difficult”.

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